Thought-of-the-week! (plus bonus question)

Hi there! It's me again. This time I'm bringing you... that's right, you guessed it! It's my: thought-of-the-week.

Well this week's thought came to me partially in a dream, part as a post-birthday-revelation and the other part from plain having too much time on my hands...

Actually, this week's thought is also a little bit of a situation for me. I had this dream a couple of nights ago where I was back in high school (sounds like a nightmare I know) and was talking to a really cute guy who apparently was my classmate and crush (of course!). Anyways, in my dream I was struggling with either telling this guy that I liked him or just keeping it to myself. At the end of the dream, like in every good teen movie from the 90's, I gathered courage and told him. The final result? We became something of an item. What's funny about this dream is that when I woke up I couldn't help but remembering how good it felt to be with this guy in my dream, you know what I mean, just the thought of "he's my boyfriend and he's ever so dreamy!" somehow, this lingering feeling brought me back to a conversation I had had with a good friend of mine a couple of weeks ago. She, who happens to be very insightful and sneaky, told me how I should gather courage and do the things I want-need to do for myself. She basically told me to stop being such a little girl and grow a pair! I, of course, laughed it off and put it all behind me as soon as the conversation was over (sorry girl!).

Now I know you're wondering where do these fascinating stories lead us to? My issue this week (as it has been for a few weeks now) is whether or not I should utter a secret I've been keeping. Now, before you all get too excited is not like a state secret or anything of the sort, it's just a little thing that seems to be eating at me and doesn't really allow me to concentrate on anything else. It involves me and one more person who would, should it be revealed, be the only ones affected by it. As fate would have it, if I do tell "the secret" I could lose this person's friendship or I could also gain something that I feel could be so great. There are other things to consider here as well, for instance my pride which is at stake. If I tell and get shut down? I'll feel terrible and so humiliated! So, knowing this information I hereby ask: What should I do? Let go of all fears and just say it? or Should I keep it to myself, as I have for so long now, and wait until I no longer feel like it's going to drive me crazy unless I tell the other person everything I want to say.?

What do you people out there reading this think? I encourage you to comment and tell whether you've been in such a position before and what did you do or if you have any advise to give. I'll be listening...

  

Chico conoce chica; chico se queda con la chica PARTE II

AJA! Vuelven por mas!! Gracias a quienes han leido la primera parte de este pequeño articulo que me he tomado la tarea exhaustiva de escribir... Ahora, volvamos a los negocios.

Numero 4: La conquista. Ahora que hemos llegado a este momento tan importante del nada fácil pero muy divertido proceso es necesario analizar el lenguaje femenino. En muchas ocasiones es difícil determinar si el sujeto a conquistar está o no interesado en ser conquistado, sin embargo hay ciertas "señales" que el sujeto envia algunas veces de manera inconsciente y otras intencionalmente dependiendo del nivel de interes/ disponibilidad del individuo en cuestión. Algunas clásicas son: siempre acepta una oportunidad de estar cerca tuyo y busca contacto fisico (no se emocionen hablamos de lo basico; abrazos, besos en la mejilla "porque hiciste algo que le gusto o que fue un buen detalle", deja que le agarres la mano y no establece límite de tiempo, permite que pases tu brazo alrededor de sus hombros, etc...) en el mejor de los casos el contacto físico primario se convierte en besos y caricias- muy buen trabajo si has llegado hasta aqui! Ojo, después del primer beso el sujeto comenzara a crear ciertas imagenes en su cabeza y a crear fantasías de lo que podría suceder (no hablamos de fantasías sexuales-pervertidos, concentrense!- hablamos de fantasías de la relación en potencia). Una vez alcanzado este nivel es importante comenzar a reflexionar sobre el siguiente paso a tomar.

En vista que aun no has determinado si el sujeto desea continuar al siguiente nivel o si desea dejar que la magia se evapore junto-con los ultimos efectos de la serotonina (si, se que vas a buscar esa palabra en google)- es conveniente que prestes atención a su comportamiento y que pongas especial cuidado en el tuyo. Por ejemplo, una chera que busca mas que solo "diversión" no se preocupara en llamarte o saber sobre tu día o tus problemas como lo hara la que este interesada en algo mas (si, nosotras tambien funcionamos como los hombres en algunas ocasiones). En este punto es importante que si ya has tomado tu decisión sobre lo que quieres hacer a continuación, mantengas contacto constante con ella haciéndole saber que te interesa continuar o simplemente comenzar a guardar algo de distancia para que ella comprenda tu falta de interés. En algunos casos, encotraras sujetos que no esperarán tus señales sutiles, estos sujetos se conocen por ser emocionalmente necesitados y tratarán a toda costa de hacerte entrar en una relación. Si no tenes cuidado y no manejas bien la situación estas personas acaban siendo tus enemigas declaradas. Una vez esto suceda, no podrás hacer nada para que ella o sus pares te consideren un buen partido o en todo caso un buen ser humano.

Ahora, ¿qué sucede si el sujeto en cuestión percibe tus tentativas de una relación y no las acepta? Muy sencillo: alejate. Es lo mas sano que podes hacer, por el bien de ambos- nos tomamos la salud mental muy en serio. Si, por otro lado, el sujeto responde positivamente a este nuevo acercamiento e interés es necesario no dejar pasar demasiado tiempo en esta etapa de cortejo. Lo mejor siempre es ser sincero acerca de tus intenciones. Después de todo, todos somos adultos aqui- o por lo menos eso queremos creer- asi que lo mejor que podés hacer es armarte de valor y tener "la plática".

Bueno, eso no fue tan complicado después de todo. Lo has logrado, has sobrevivido a este ameno tutorial sobre los niños y las niñas. Si mi tutorial no te resulto muy útil es porque no soy ni psicólogo ni consejero espiritual, simplemente hablo de lo que me parece sentido común. No crean que soy alguna especie de Hitch (yo se que viste esa película asi que no actues como si no supieras de lo que hablo) y definitivamente no soy ninguna casamentera (¡gracias al cielo!). Simplemente aventurense en ese nuevo territorio, no puede ser tan malo. Recuerden que todos y todas somos diferentes y que siempre se gana algo nuevo de toda experiencia. Mucha suerte para usted que esta en cualquiera de esas etapas y disfrutelo mientras pueda.

Nos vemos luego.

"chico conoce a chica; chico se queda con la chica" PARTE I

¡Hola de nuevo!

El tema de hoy me vino a la mente hace un par de días gracias a una conversación que tuve con un amigo. El amigo en cuestión me decía que a veces las mujeres estamos rodeadas de un cierto "misterio" que nos hace indescifrables para el sexo opuesto convirtiendonos en una especie de codigo secreto (esa es mi versión bonita de las cosas, el solo dijo "las mujeres son dificiles de entender con esas sus señales confusas"). En todo caso, despues de un poco de reflexión me di cuenta que en repetidas ocasiones he tenido esa misma conversación con diferentes personas (todos del sexo opuesto) lo que me trajo hasta aqui, este día me he propuesto crear una especie de "tutorial" para hombres. Y se dirán ustedes, hombres que por alguna extraña razón se encuentran leyendo esto: "¿Qué me puede decir ella que no haya alguien mas escrito ya?" La respuesta: ¡NADA! Pero yo nunca habia escrito acerca del tema a pesar que he dado consejos en varias ocasiones relacionados a la psique femenina y además, soy divertida asi que hagan el favor y continuen leyendo hasta el final. Gracias

Vamos a tratar de cubrir ciertos puntos importantes antes de continuar. Numero 1: Este tutorial esta dirijido a personas con sentido común, que entienden que hay ciertas cosas que bajo ninguna circunstancia se le hacen a las mujeres y que en caso de ocurrir la clausula de "terminación inmediata de la relación" se debe aplicar. Ejemplos claves a tener en consideración: Engañar; (no al estilo de te menti toda la semana para hacerte una fiesta sorpresa sino mas bien al estilo de te menti cuando te dije que la chera con la que me viste entrar al cine era mi prima- sabemos que NO es asi). Maltratar (no como te molesto porque te ves linda cuando pretendes que te enojas sino mas bien como me burle de ti frente a todos y te llame tonta e ignorante frente a tus amistades- El abuso físico-verbal-psicológico NO es atractivo). Abusar/ Usar a una mujer (ya saben a que me refiero, cosas como usarla solo porque me da dinero cuando ando en banca rota, usarla para que la chera que no me hizo caso vea que tengo otra, etc...). Si usted no forma parte de ninguna de las categorías anteriores o algún derivado de ellas le invito a continuar esta amena lectura.

Si usted paso exitosamente la etapa numero 1 del tutorial, ¡Felicidades! Usted no es ningún tipo de psicópata y no tratará de encontrarme para acosarme un par de meses y matarme al estilo jigsaw para enseñarme una lección sobre la vida y mas importante aún, usted califica para la etapa numero 2 del programa. Numero 2: Reconocimiento. Todo comienza con una misión de reconocimiento tanto para él como para ella. En este punto una relación aun no existe y no hay ningun tipo de expectativas. Es la tipica historia de "chico conoce a chica". Una vez se ha detectado el blanco es momento de las primeras impresiones. Si usted quiere salir airoso de la etapa de impresiones evite hacer cualquier cosa que perjudique la percepción del individuo que se desea atraer. Ejemplos claves a considerar: No intente llevarsela de galan de entrada (eso solo funciona si usted es Justin Timberlake o Ashton Kutcher) a las cheras respetables no nos gustan los casanovas. Cuide sus modales, el objetivo de sus afectos esta atenta a cualquier cosa que le parezca desagradable para descartarlo inmediatamente (ejemplos incluyen: eructar, hurgarse la nariz, la exposición innecesaria de cualquier tipo de fluido corporal, etc...). Finalmente: muestre interés y ponga atención a lo que ella diga pues esto resulta útil en la etapa de conquista.

Numero 3: Construyendo una "amistad". Es el momento de conocer a fondo al individuo que se desea conquistar. Se debe invertir tiempo en conocerla y verificar que existan intereses mutuos que puedan en un futuro ayudar en la conquista. En este punto es importante destacar que si usted esta interesado en llegar a la conquista es necesario que no deje pasar demasiado tiempo en esta etapa. Sin embargo si usted se ha dado cuenta que el objetivo incial no es un interés romántico este es el momento justo en el que usted debe de dejar de mostrar demasiado interés en el individuo ya que de lo contrario corre el riesgo de crear lo que se conoce bajo el termino científico de "falsas esperanzas". De igual forma, si usted ha alcanzado este punto y desea continuar su misión es necesario que pase al nivel 4.

Reality check

Hello again!

I know it's been a while since the last time we saw each other (to anyone who might be reading me out there) but I figured it's better late than never right?

I have come to you this time with a little idea that has popped into my head. A couple of days ago I made the unfortunate decision to act on an impulse and made a remark to someone who quite frankly does not deserve the attention (I know that now).

I'm a firm believer that we never stop learning in life. Whether it is through experiences, books, classes, interaction with other people, you name it! Call me crazy but I am one of those weird people who think that improving one self and seeking constant learning experiences is a positive thing. However sometimes I forget that not everyone shares my points of view on life.

The "incident" went down a little like this: someone made a public mistake and I called them out on it (I do have to admit it wasn't in a very nice manner but my purpose wasn't to be nice). Anyway I laughed at it and put it behind me without thinking about the ramifications of my actions- it was after all a little bit of well-deserved sarcasm I was putting out there for that person- I guess I don't need to say what happened next, a strange kind of "war" was unleashed between those who thought what I had done was great and those who, for some reason that still escapes me, took it as a personal offense.

I got caught in the middle of it and also got cut out of the conversation and left behind for others to bring me down and basically talk crap about me like I was some kind of "grammar mistakes Nazi".  People who were completely oblivious to the actual situation got involved and it ended with the one person I didn't expect to throw a low blow making comments that were out of place (and none of their business). Goes to show you must always distrust the quiet ones...

My point is I spent some time pondering how the situation got so out of hand. I felt powerless and angry. How did this little thing manage to snowball its way into my mind, leading to believe I had indeed done something wrong?? I'll tell you how! It had happened before to me! It all came pouring down on me. I am not a nice person!

The difference between me and those who made these stupid remarks? I am more upfront about it! I don't go around acting like I'm some sweet, nice little girl who'll stand in the background and keep her opinions to herself. However there is some people out there who act like they are so self-righteous when they are actually hypocrites! I was so mad that I had had someone take away my right to defend myself! People is just ridiculous sometimes. That's the conclusion I came to from this little story.

What I think is important- and actually worth mentioning- about this whole experience is that we can always improve ourselves even when we think we're right. Life has an interesting way of coming back and biting you in the ass when you act on a whim. Boy did I learn that today!

The message I'd like to leave you with tonight is learn how to pick your battles. Want to make an enemy? Tell an idiot he's wrong... (trying to be as nice as possible but I can't help myself). Want to look like an idiot? Fight another idiot... (that's right I called myself an idiot, because I can admit it when I have screwed up). I'll  try to stay out of harm's way from now on and I recommend you all do the same!

See you guys later...
 

Part VI

VI. Do or Die.

“Where is he?” he heard a voice say behind him. “Excuse me, doctor? I’m looking for my son...” He turned around slowly, recognizing the voice. “Mom… Mrs. Silver?” “Yes, how’d you know?” “I uhh, well your son just looks so much like you” “Oh, thank you. Can you tell me how he’s doing? Are you the doctor in charge?” her voice was soft and kind just as he remembered it. He wanted so much to hug her and feel the smell of her hair like he did when he was a kid. “Yes, I am. My name is Richard Smith, I’m the attending cardiologist. Your son needs surgery to replace one of the main arteries in his heart. Is he a smoker?” “Yes, a terrible habit I always told him.” “Well, it is a common problem among smokers.” “So, when will you be operating on him?” He thought about her question for a minute, suddenly realizing what her words meant and knowing that he had to do it. “This afternoon” he said plainly.

He couldn’t think about anything else for the rest of the day. He knew he had to concentrate if he wanted everything to go well with the surgery and he did want everything to go well with the surgery. He couldn’t risk his own body. But he couldn’t help to wonder what would happen if anything went wrong and his body died. Would he die too? But he knew that not operating would still kill him so he had to risk it.

He put on his scrubs, washed his hands and walked into the operating room as he had done so many times before except that for the first time in three years, he was terrified. As he began the procedure, he was a little relieved to see familiar faces in the room. The anesthesiologist was a friend of his and even if he knew he had no chance with her he was a little happy to see Nancy the nurse there. Suddenly all the things he had done for the past 17 years seemed to be coming to an end. He had a strange feeling in his stomach something like a hunch. There was a little voice that kept telling him to walk away even though he knew he couldn’t.

Almost an hour into surgery he had managed to calm down a little and his hands didn’t feel so sweaty and shaky anymore. And then in the blink of an eye something went wrong. All the machines around him began going off and everybody started saying things he couldn’t understand anymore. “He’s crashing, quick doctor…” “Doctor Smith, are you okay?” “We’re losing him…” “Someone page doctor Roberts…”

He couldn’t tell anymore what had happened, suddenly he saw a bright flash of light and the noises around him started to fade away, the voices weren’t so clear anymore. Everything had turned into a blur and muffled sounds. Suddenly Charlie was this 15 year old boy again. The body he was in felt so heavy. It was like waking up again after jumping, except this time he wasn’t waking up, he was dying.

Part V

V. Irony.

Charlie has been living as Dr. Richard Smith for a good couple years now, trying to help him too. Probably not the same way he helped Bill, because while good old Bill needed help getting out of the house, Richard needed help building himself a home. Things at the hospital seemed to be working out just fine for Dr. Smith, he had made a few good friends from his colleagues and since he had started putting a little more heart into helping his patients, everybody at the hospital had started to like him more. As for his personal life, Charlie was still trying hard to find a real connection, somebody whom Richard could truly love. Shelly had really broken his heart; he had come close to getting engaged to her. That was of course until he found out she was cheating on him with a guy from work. There was a nurse at the hospital that brought up this warm and fuzzy feeling inside Richard every time he so much as spoke to her or even saw her. However, Nancy the nurse didn’t seem to be all that interested in Dr. Smith. She had been a witness to the endless parade of women that had come and gone from Richard’s life and she had no intention of being one of them. It was on the day of his three-year anniversary with Richard, that Charlie found out his biggest problem wasn’t getting Nancy the nurse to like him.

It was a Wednesday afternoon and Dr. Smith was bored doing post-op rounds. Nancy the nurse was working that same shift and he thought he could talk her into getting a cup of coffee after work. “Maybe if we start going out she’ll see the nice guy in Richard” he thought. “Hey Nancy, listen maybe after work we could…” “Oh no, there he goes again. Quick Nancy, say something about work before he asks you out” she thought. “I got your charts here doctor, would you like me to give you a preview of your next surgery?” “Oh, sure but I was also hoping that you…” “Okay, name: Charles Silver; age: 33; he had a mild heart attack this morning at work. He was rushed in a couple hours ago and is now stable but the X-rays reveal a problem with one of the main arteries…” “Wait, what did you say his name was?” “Uhh, name, name, name oh yeah, Charles Silver, age 33.”

Richard stood there silent, not knowing what to do or say. Was he to operate on his own body? “How is this possible?” he mumbled. “I know right, people is so stressed out these days they’re having heart attacks so young, I once knew a woman who…” Nancy kept talking in the background without acknowledging the fear and astonishment in Dr. Smith’s eyes. “Nancy, listen to me, what room is the patient in?” he finally managed to utter. “Let’s see, room 241.” “Thank you” he said as he ran in the opposite direction, “Wait! Doctor Smith! Should I book an OR...?”

Richard stood by the door looking into the room and there he was, resting on a hospital bed all alone. Looking slightly pale, he looked so different know. It was so strange seeing his body just laying there almost lifeless. That was not the situation he had imagined for so many years, finding his body like this. He had played in his mind numerous scenarios but none of them involved him performing surgery on himself.

Part IV

IV. “Body jumping”

Charlie found out he had somehow “jumped” out of his body and into someone else’s. How did it happen? What triggered it? Would he ever find his body again? Was his body still living? All those questions ran through his head as he went on living as someone else. Sarah Mitchell had been his first, a twenty-year-old law student. He had traveled a great distance from home. He had made a resolution to not tell anybody about what had happened to him because it was just too strange of a story for anybody to believe it. He hadn’t skip any years though, it was as if his essence had flown off his body and into someone else. It was hard to explain, he didn’t have any strange dreams that he remembered before it happened. He could however remember everything about his life and about the other person’s life too. He realized he knew Sarah’s routine, friends and family. He understood everything going on in her classes and felt everything Sarah did. Like the time he ran into Mrs. Williams her history teacher and he felt like he wanted to punch the woman in the face, a person he’d never met before in his life and yet because Sarah hated her so much, so did he. It was strange living another person’s life but it was interesting at the same time. He often thought about what he would tell his father when he got back that is, if he ever got back. He stayed with Sarah for five years. Then, one night he went to sleep and woke up to an ill feeling, he knew immediately what had happened.

He’d jumped again. Who was it this time? He was very relieved to find he’d jumped into a man’s body this time, what wasn’t so relieving was finding out that he’d jumped into the body of a prisoner. The man had been imprisoned for killing two people in an armed robbery. However bad his actions were, Charlie couldn’t help but felt sorry for this man. There was nothing familiar about him. Being in the prisoner’s body made Charlie realize how lucky he had been growing up with his parents, it made him truly understand what his father always talked about. The prisoner’s soul was full of resentment and pain. “This man isn’t really bad, we are always fast to judge others for their actions without really seeing their motives” Charlie thought. He stayed with the prisoner only for three months, but those three months seemed a lot longer than the five years with Sarah.

The third time Charlie jumped he landed in Bill Johnson’s body. Bill was a good man, a widower with three grown children. Bill was already retired and lived a quiet simple life. He rarely went out, not because he didn’t want to but mostly because it was too hard for him to cope with the idea of moving on after his wife’s death. Mrs. Johnson had died of heart disease two years ago. She was, of course, the one who kept the house running; the one who attended to her children’s problems. She was perfect. The memories of Mrs. Johnson made Charlie think of his own mother, making Bill’s sadness even greater. “This time I can help” Charlie thought. “I’ll help Bill overcome his sadness, I’ll give him youth again” Of course he had to be careful too after all Bill was a 62-year-old retiree. Not to mention, any big changes in Bill’s personality would be easily mistaken by his kids as a cry for help or a sign of distress of some kind. “You know how the kids can get” he said as a joke to Bill.

Charlie made Bill re-discover the joy that friends can bring. He made Bill finally take those Spanish lessons he always wanted to but was too afraid to try. Bill’s sons could see the slow change in their father. One of them even asked at one family dinner what had made him change like that. “It’s like I’m a different person” Charlie answered posing as Bill. “No dad, really. Something must have happened that made you change your perspective of life. I mean you were always a great man but after mom passed away we all thought you’d lost yourself. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all very happy that you’re looking better, but we’re also curious to know what brought this change upon you?” “Well you’ll see, one day I woke up, looked in the mirror and felt as though there was some other person living inside me; a person that wanted a different life.” Everybody at the table saw Bill’s eyes glimmer as the words came out of his mouth. Charlie had meant every word and he knew that Bill would be thankful for the things he’d done after he was gone. Even if Bill Johnson wouldn’t know what had happened.

Charlie stayed with Bill Johnson for 10 years and two months until one day at a family gathering Bill decided he wanted to take a nap and fell asleep in the rocking chair on the back porch. This time it took Charlie a few moments to recover from his trip maybe because Bill was so old by the time he’d left him. Dr. Richard Smith would be his last jump.