Short story part I

I. Waking-up again.

He wakes up with his head pounding, dizzy and confused. He tries to remember where he is, “what happened last night? Is it morning already or is it still night time?” He tries to sit up and clear his head. As he stands from the bed looks around trying to recognize the room he’s in. It’s a big room almost like a hotel suite, next to the bed there is a nightstand, a wallet and a set of keys lie on top. “Richard Smith, M.D.” reads one of the cards in the wallet; I.D. and driver’s license bear the same name. “Okay, I’m a doctor this time” the man says to himself as he stumbles his way to the bathroom. The water is now running in the sink, he washes his face and lets the freshness of the cold water penetrate each pore on his face, washing off every last trace of haziness still lingering in his head.

After putting on a clean shirt he stands in front of the mirror, analyzing every little detail of his new body. The man staring back at him is tall; not too old, maybe in his late thirties, seemingly someone who works out on a regular basis. He stares for a minute at his new face. “There is something sad about those brown eyes and the way his mouth is shaped, almost like a frown.” He says as he closes his eyes.

Is self destruction right for you?

According to Wikipedia self-destructive behavior is a widely used phrase that conceptualises certain kinds of destructive acts as belonging to the self. It also has the property that it characterises certain kinds of self-inflicted acts as destructive. The term comes from objective psychology, wherein all apparent self-inflicted harm or abuse toward oneself is treated as a collection of actions, and therefore as a pattern of behaviour. But what determines certain acts or conducts as "destructive behavior"? Sometimes we do things or say words that, to our thinking, are hardly self-destructive. It isn't necessary to go as far as having an eating disorder or to be an alcoholic to say that we are self-destructive. Lately women are put through so much pressure to be "perfect" and by perfect I don't mean looking like a Barbie doll I mean being a career woman, family oriented, healthy, concerned about the latest society issues, politically involved, and so many other things that even though us feminists have been the ones to fight for over the years, it seems as though they weight a little more when put over our shoulders.
All these pressures that we have brought upon ourselves are causing us to stress to the point where we're killing ourselves just so we can prove ourselves important to others. I won't lie, I do sometimes think to myself "Don't even try it, you can't possibly pull that off". And even if the Psychologists say that saying that sort of phrases to yourself on a regular basis is "self-destructive behavior" I say it's quite the opposite. I for one, take pride in knowing my limits. It took me a while to figure out that it is IMPOSSIBLE to please every one. Think about it, telling yourself that you have certain limitations isn't putting yourself down, it is merely an act of acceptance towards yourself. To accept that you are not meant to be Wonder Woman, but a great woman nonetheless, is the ultimate act of love. So I'd like to conclude by making an invitation to all the wonderful women reading this to love yourselves just the way you are.

¿Ansiedad Dental?

Hace una semana decidimos que era hora de visitar al dentista para una revisión general. Yo estoy acostumbrada a las visitas con el dentista, pero para mis dos hermanas era una experiencia completamente nueva. Cada vez que nos adentramos a lo desconocido existe un factor de ansiedad y expectativa. En mi caso, se debía a que nunca habia consultado con este dentista en particular. Lo que paso después me hizo entender porque hay ciertas personas que temen tanto visitar la oficina de un dentista. Fue, hasta la fecha, ¡la peor experiencia que haya tenido en el consultorio de cualquier doctor! La mujer era extremadamente tosca y en algun momento llegue a pensar que se estaba divirtiendo de ver en mi rostro el dolor. No me quedaba nada mas que decir (en parte porque no podia ni abrir la boca): La mujer es una sádica. A partir de esa experiencia comencé a preguntarme si al igual que existen las fobias a las alturas, a las arañas e incluso a las tortugas (es real, tengo una amiga que lo sufre) podía existir una fobia a los dentistas o en todo caso a las visitas con los dentistas. Resulta que si existe; se llama Ansiedad Dental. No se exactamente si califica como una fobia a pesar que ciertas personas sí experimentan un terror irracional cuando se enfrentan a esta situación. Según el sitio web www.odontologia.com La ansiedad dental es un trazo de ansiedad que se relaciona a un tratamiento dental y puede medirse con la prueba de psicometría EAD, Escala de Ansiedade Dentária, que es una versión del portugués de DAS - Dental Anxiety Scale. Y ahi lo tienen, es una realidad. Esta condición afecta alrededor de un 8% de la población, estos pacientes se ven afectados por tres factores: La novedad, la incertidumbre y la expectativa, sensaciones que todos experimentamos al enfrentarnos a una situación nueva que puede ser incomoda, pero en el caso de estas personas, se ven magnificados. Pero no hay porque preocuparse, esta situación puede prevenirse con tecnicas sencillas como informarse sobre los procedimientos dentales que se nos realizarán, la conducta positiva (que le falta enormemente a mi dentista) y las tecnicas de relajación. Asi que la proxima vez que tengan una cita con el dentista recuerden mantenerse lo mas relajados posibles y en caso de tener una experiencia dolorosa o traumática (como la mía) pueden siempre recurrir a la buena terapia de ¡bloggear sobre eso!

Dirty Pictures for the Future?

Last night I was watching "Dirty Pictures" which is a fact-based story about the court proceedings that followed Cincinnati art museum director Dennis Barrie after his decision to display a controversial art exhibit by photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. Throughout the entire thing the audience is presented with the dilemma of whether these pictures are or not in fact obscene and if the museum should take down the exhibit. In the end Barrie walks free as the grand jury decides to call the pictures art. It's a rather interesting film at times presented as a documentary, it got me thinking again about the things that we perceive as "right" and "wrong" in society. See the thing is that I think these perceptions are modified as time passes. Back in 1990, these pictures which openly touched controversial themes such as homosexuality, nudity, sadomasochistic tendencies and the sort were seen as "wrong". However, we've seen numerous gay-right marches and we've given sex a new meaning as time has gone by. It isn't unusual nowadays to see celebrities "come out" and still make it. Some of the greatest writers in history are known to be homosexual and are still given the merit they deserve. My question is, will this freedom of speech and our right to individuality eventually become an excuse to lose all of the values that have built up our society? I'm not saying being gay is wrong, I applaud the courage it takes to be true to one self in every aspect of our lives, but what about the up-coming generations? What is the legacy we're building when we care less about the arts and continue to feed a culture filled with vanity and superficiality? When all that little girls seem to care about is looking like a model or when all kids care about now is playing video games and their cellphones? What has happened to the innocence we used to grow up with? And what will happen when our society has gotten so corrupt that we won't be able to tell apart a lie from the truth? I think we're getting closer and closer to a time when being "a good person" will just be seen as a myth. And all we will have left to fight for will be money and a distorted image of ourselves.

Is it okay to...

I've been wondering for a long time what makes honesty such a hard value to practice and when is it that we cross the line from honesty to just plain rude.
I don't consider myself a self righteous person and even though I try to be as good as I possibly can it's not always easy to know when to speak with the truth and when to tell a "white lie" in order to keep from hurting someone I love.
Granted, there are some truths that hurt. And yes, I have in more than one occasion made a cruel remark about something that even though was very true, did not need to be brought out. (like the time I told my ex that he was going to end up alone because he's an egocentric asshole completely devoid of all emotion and incapable of feeling for others, it's true but it's still not cool)
My point is: Is it okay to be cruel to someone you love or care about just because you're mad at them?
Today I got caught up in an argument and needless to say many words of anger were spoken. I do understand that one must not pay attention to things people say when they're angry, but I must admit at one point that barrier falls and you're left vulnerable and thinking "Am I really a selfish bitch?" "Am I to reconsider my entire way of being?"
I guess I'm making too much out of what was said but still, it hurt.
So I've made a resolution: I will TRY my best not to be cruel to others (even if they do have it coming). Oh and also, I'll get to working on my bitch-y-ness (totally made up that word!)
Leave your comments on the topic and do share your best and worse "cruel truths" and come backs!
Talk to you guys soon.